I was going to write a huge post, but in the end I really can't be bothered. It was all about the future, decisions, breakdowns, your basic soap opera.
Who actually watches that mind numbing crap? I avoid TV as a rule, so I don't get infected.
I started reading Edith's blog, and she's right, Closer by NIN is a really sexy song. Very horneh!
Yes, I'm slightly hyper, but you know what, I'M LOVIN IT!
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Monday, November 28, 2005
More quizzes...as if you cared...
| Your Heart Is Pink |
 In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't. Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time. Your flirting style: Coy Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant What you bring to relationships: Romance |
| Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating |
 Maybe you're looking for love... But mostly you're looking for fun. You could get serious with the right person. For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field. |
More tales of Aisling. All of mine till now have made me look like a heathen whore...
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Fuckity fuck fuck
My gran is getting so much worse, it can't possibly be much longer... I wish I had bought her a birthday present this year, but if she lives till Christmas then I'll do something really nice for her, because she definitely won't be around next time. I can't even let myself think like that, it was too painful to see her today never mind having a fatalist mentality as well.
Man, this has been a shit weekend. I've been so confused about things, and I just couldn't stop thinking!! Thinking is a curse, I'd rather be a bug.
Graffle.
Man, this has been a shit weekend. I've been so confused about things, and I just couldn't stop thinking!! Thinking is a curse, I'd rather be a bug.
Graffle.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Another quiz...
| Your Sexy Halloween Costume Is |
 |
| You Are an Appletini |
 Most of the time, you're a typical party girl / guy. But when you get super sauced, you really up your sex appeal. |
w00t!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Family?
God, family can be a gift and a curse. On the one hand, they are the people you will always love, and in theory you will stick together (although, in my experience, it's not always the case). They can be the most hurtful people, yet they can make you feel so much better about things.
They truly epitomise the term, "love/hate relationship".
They truly epitomise the term, "love/hate relationship".
My movie genre? Pffft.
| Erotic Thriller |
 You've made your own rules in life - and sometimes that catches up with you. Winding a web of deceit comes naturally, and no one really knows the true you. Your best movie matches: Swimming Pool, Unfaithful, The Crush |
You must be kidding me...
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Harry Potter (SPOILER ALERT)
I saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire tonight. I can't believe everyone enjoyed it so much. It was an alright film, but there's far too many holes to pick with it than I can write, or can be bothered writing.
For one thing, what was with the lack of plot and character development? Things weren't explained, and the characters motives in situations weren't even touched on. One of the major omissions was the Snape and the Death Eaters storyline. For one thing, in the book, the sense of evil and suspicion permeates the story. Anyone around you could be a Death Eater, they were working inside the Ministry, Snape had been a Death Eater and was working inside Hogwarts. All this was underplayed, and the sense of impending doom and evil was lost. The Death Eaters were needed to show the the power of Voldemort, not just in that he had an secret police, but that these people, fearsome in themselves, cowered under the mere look of the Dark Lord.
I felt that the book truly portayed the evil, and the feeling of Voldemort's growing power, but in the film, the entire story was about the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry, Ron and Hemione's angsty teenage issues.
With the intense plot in the book, and super intense sub-plots, the film was a joke. To think the ENTIRE Barty Crouch Senior and Junior storyline was just abandoned. As was Moody's past. Why was he called insane? You don't find out. Cedric Diggory's death was undramatic, whereas in the actual story, it was a huge deal, and very heart wrenching. I could go so in depth into what this film was lacking, even as a film in it's own right it didn't answer so many of it's questions.
The Goblet of Fire is pivotal to the series, as it acts as the foundation of the books to come. The previous issues have been a prologue, they've been teaching you about the past and the characters, so you understand the real story still to come. The fourth in the series is the beginning of the story, and lays down the structure for the rest, and with it done in such a shallow way, I can't imagine how the next film will be redeemed.
The director was sadly lacking I found. He focused too much on the human issues, and not enough on the real plot. As such it came across as undeveloped and the tension wasn't built up in the slightest. My personal opinion is that he would fare better in a real life drama, not a fantasy film. I think if Peter Jackson had been directing, things would have turned out infinitely better. He has experience in adapting books to films, and does it amazingly well. He understands fantasy, and doesn't make it all about CGI, instead uses it to enhance the movie. I hope to god he is involved in The Order of the Phoenix. It would be perfect for him.
So much I haven't said, and I can't be bothered. I've bored you all enough anyway. Anyone's who's still reading this gets a hug.
For one thing, what was with the lack of plot and character development? Things weren't explained, and the characters motives in situations weren't even touched on. One of the major omissions was the Snape and the Death Eaters storyline. For one thing, in the book, the sense of evil and suspicion permeates the story. Anyone around you could be a Death Eater, they were working inside the Ministry, Snape had been a Death Eater and was working inside Hogwarts. All this was underplayed, and the sense of impending doom and evil was lost. The Death Eaters were needed to show the the power of Voldemort, not just in that he had an secret police, but that these people, fearsome in themselves, cowered under the mere look of the Dark Lord.
I felt that the book truly portayed the evil, and the feeling of Voldemort's growing power, but in the film, the entire story was about the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry, Ron and Hemione's angsty teenage issues.
With the intense plot in the book, and super intense sub-plots, the film was a joke. To think the ENTIRE Barty Crouch Senior and Junior storyline was just abandoned. As was Moody's past. Why was he called insane? You don't find out. Cedric Diggory's death was undramatic, whereas in the actual story, it was a huge deal, and very heart wrenching. I could go so in depth into what this film was lacking, even as a film in it's own right it didn't answer so many of it's questions.
The Goblet of Fire is pivotal to the series, as it acts as the foundation of the books to come. The previous issues have been a prologue, they've been teaching you about the past and the characters, so you understand the real story still to come. The fourth in the series is the beginning of the story, and lays down the structure for the rest, and with it done in such a shallow way, I can't imagine how the next film will be redeemed.
The director was sadly lacking I found. He focused too much on the human issues, and not enough on the real plot. As such it came across as undeveloped and the tension wasn't built up in the slightest. My personal opinion is that he would fare better in a real life drama, not a fantasy film. I think if Peter Jackson had been directing, things would have turned out infinitely better. He has experience in adapting books to films, and does it amazingly well. He understands fantasy, and doesn't make it all about CGI, instead uses it to enhance the movie. I hope to god he is involved in The Order of the Phoenix. It would be perfect for him.
So much I haven't said, and I can't be bothered. I've bored you all enough anyway. Anyone's who's still reading this gets a hug.
Friday, November 18, 2005
?!?$£!%?&!?!
Really fucking angry right now... I don't know why though, although I have reasons, they're petty and stupid. I hate being like this, it drains me and I usually get really unhappy after it.
This blog must be getting more boring all the time, either that or everyone has stopped reading it, which I couldn't blame you for. It's a steaming pile of shit. I would spit on it if I could. But since it's about me, then you should spit on me for bringing it into the world.
Tempting to delete it, but I won't because I would probably regret it later.
I need to calm down, but I don't want to because then I would just get upset.
This blog must be getting more boring all the time, either that or everyone has stopped reading it, which I couldn't blame you for. It's a steaming pile of shit. I would spit on it if I could. But since it's about me, then you should spit on me for bringing it into the world.
Tempting to delete it, but I won't because I would probably regret it later.
I need to calm down, but I don't want to because then I would just get upset.
Grah....for want of a better word.
I'm so tired... I need to stay online for a little bit though, because this is the first time I've actually been bothered to make progress with my UCAS application. I'm not sure what courses I'm taking, but I was very happy to find out that you don't apply to the RSAMD through UCAS, you apply directly! That means I can apply there and still have another 6 options! I'm going for the Acting course in the QMUC as well.
I may be granted allowances for bad personal circumstances affecting my grades last year, so I've emailed a few universities asking what they're stand would be. Hope I get in.
Mmmmm... Philosophy and Politics at Glasgow uni...
I may be granted allowances for bad personal circumstances affecting my grades last year, so I've emailed a few universities asking what they're stand would be. Hope I get in.
Mmmmm... Philosophy and Politics at Glasgow uni...
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Wow...
I was told today that my blog is all about depression... I suppose when I look at it, it is, but I always take real care to never show the depth of what I'm feeling, so I didn't think it was that bad.... :/
It's surprising, very much so. Is it really depressing?
Guess what I'm going to say?? Million dollar question here...
I'M DEPRESSED.
If you got the answer you win the regurgetated bunny from a previous post.
It's surprising, very much so. Is it really depressing?
Guess what I'm going to say?? Million dollar question here...
I'M DEPRESSED.
If you got the answer you win the regurgetated bunny from a previous post.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Shock horror!
Despite the irritating hyperness of my last post, I'm actually very depressed. Don't know why I wrote it. Maybe to manufacture some happiness?
I can't think of anything to write, but I felt that I needed to write something. But there isn't much that I can say except for horribly depressing things, that I don't want to write here...
I love that song, My Body is Made of Sunlight. It's absolutely beautiful. You get so bored listening to the same kinds of music all the time, it's really refreshing to hear Circulus, so different from any music I've heard before. Music is one of the most important things in my life, and good music of all types can stir incredible emtions in you. I like listening to music that relates to my mood, I don't understand how some people can listen to happy music when they're depressed!
Weirdos :P
I can't think of anything to write, but I felt that I needed to write something. But there isn't much that I can say except for horribly depressing things, that I don't want to write here...
I love that song, My Body is Made of Sunlight. It's absolutely beautiful. You get so bored listening to the same kinds of music all the time, it's really refreshing to hear Circulus, so different from any music I've heard before. Music is one of the most important things in my life, and good music of all types can stir incredible emtions in you. I like listening to music that relates to my mood, I don't understand how some people can listen to happy music when they're depressed!
Weirdos :P
w00t
w00t.
Random post out of boredom. So shoot me *shot*
If you don't comment.... I shall eat this bunny...
Monday, November 14, 2005
The art of talking
I drink far too much. If my mum knew how much I drank, she'd shit a brick. I just bought two 70cl bottles of Smirnoff Ice. After drinking a shitload on Friday, and a shitload last week. There are so many huge empty bottles around my room. I hope my mum doesn't find them...
Well, I feel more depressed than I did earlier, but at the same time a part of me feels better having told someone a bit of what was going through my head. I think I would have exploded if I didn't.
Talking helps with everything, it's amazing. I hate talking about myself or my problems unless it's gotten to the point where I'm about to break down, but it's helpful in those situations.
The motto of the story is *cue drum roll*: Tell someone you trust what's on your mind! If you don't it'll just build up into more than it is, and you won't sort it out.
Cheesy I know, but at least it's useful.
Well, I feel more depressed than I did earlier, but at the same time a part of me feels better having told someone a bit of what was going through my head. I think I would have exploded if I didn't.
Talking helps with everything, it's amazing. I hate talking about myself or my problems unless it's gotten to the point where I'm about to break down, but it's helpful in those situations.
The motto of the story is *cue drum roll*: Tell someone you trust what's on your mind! If you don't it'll just build up into more than it is, and you won't sort it out.
Cheesy I know, but at least it's useful.
Silent rage....
I think I may be a victim of.....[topic title]
I'm so angry right now, and depressed. I never tell anyone when I'm angry at them unless I'm so bad I'm about to smash my computer in, generally in the case of David.
I get depressed for the smallest reasons. But one of the small reasons I'm depressed, although may seem really silly, actually runs a lot deeper. I wish I could tell someone, and I know people are there for me but this is far too personal.
Fuck, I really need to get a grip...
I'm so angry right now, and depressed. I never tell anyone when I'm angry at them unless I'm so bad I'm about to smash my computer in, generally in the case of David.
I get depressed for the smallest reasons. But one of the small reasons I'm depressed, although may seem really silly, actually runs a lot deeper. I wish I could tell someone, and I know people are there for me but this is far too personal.
Fuck, I really need to get a grip...
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Not again....
I thought I was getting better... But I'm not. I'm really not. I thought this part of my life was over a while ago, and in a sense it is, but I can't help feeling like this.
I wish there was someone who could help. But no one really understands it, they just get freaked. And the only person who really can come close to understanding is someone I don't want to talk to about anything.
Great. My mum is drunk for the second time today. I came back from Jack's at 2pm and she was really drunk, she then went to sleep. And I just went through to ask her to make dinner, and she can't even walk she's so out of it.
I want everything to be okay, but it won't be.
I wish there was someone who could help. But no one really understands it, they just get freaked. And the only person who really can come close to understanding is someone I don't want to talk to about anything.
Great. My mum is drunk for the second time today. I came back from Jack's at 2pm and she was really drunk, she then went to sleep. And I just went through to ask her to make dinner, and she can't even walk she's so out of it.
I want everything to be okay, but it won't be.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
WAHAAAAAY!!!!
Man, that was a fun party. We got so utterly pissed on all that lovely booze :P It was funny when we ran out to meet Nikita in the rain in our socks.... Or when we started spinning round and round and fell all over the place.... Or tried to ride a bike down the hall....
The dares were the best though, especially because I didn't have to do anything! It was great when I had the power to choose who got naked, Harrison or Nikita. That was a tough decision, but I chose a random one through that "eeny meeny miny mo" thing. I salute you, Nikita!
Ah, when Harrison got naked and went to wake Oomad up by dancing in front of him.... Good times.
By the time of Resevoir Dogs though, I was completely crashed. Can't let that happen at the next party, during the holidays. Fuck sake, that one is going to kill all of us...
Can't wait!!
The dares were the best though, especially because I didn't have to do anything! It was great when I had the power to choose who got naked, Harrison or Nikita. That was a tough decision, but I chose a random one through that "eeny meeny miny mo" thing. I salute you, Nikita!
Ah, when Harrison got naked and went to wake Oomad up by dancing in front of him.... Good times.
By the time of Resevoir Dogs though, I was completely crashed. Can't let that happen at the next party, during the holidays. Fuck sake, that one is going to kill all of us...
Can't wait!!
Friday, November 11, 2005
Bitch!!
Joseph is such a bitch!! He put my number on that scoring thingy down!!! Damn hiiiiiiim....
Well, I'll put my number for him down out of spite! And he got a really high number before because I USED to think he was really good looking...
Unbelievable, the cheek of it. :P
Well, I'll put my number for him down out of spite! And he got a really high number before because I USED to think he was really good looking...
Unbelievable, the cheek of it. :P
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Fucktards
I'm really angry and upset. I'm not going to go into the details, because I don't want people to know why, but sufficed to say that some people hurt me a hell of a lot. Especially when they're people I care about...
Would it be so wrong to move away next year, and deliberately lose touch with everyone? It's such a nice thought. I'm so sick of everyone and everything. I want a new life, with no memory of this one. I don't really know how much more I can take.
It's horrible that sometimes I really dislike Joseph. But it's worse with David.... There are times, and quite a few times, when I just hate him with a vengence. They both hurt me a lot. I'm seriously considering the option of losing touch with Joseph after we leave school. I can't stand the thought of knowing him past that point, although the thought of not knowing him is creepy. It would probably be better for me anyway. He wouldn't care either way so it wouldn't bother him.
There goes my last personal post, unless I'm truly in the mood. I'll stick to my live journal, where my posts and feelings wont be criticised and my feelings won't be hurt.
Would it be so wrong to move away next year, and deliberately lose touch with everyone? It's such a nice thought. I'm so sick of everyone and everything. I want a new life, with no memory of this one. I don't really know how much more I can take.
It's horrible that sometimes I really dislike Joseph. But it's worse with David.... There are times, and quite a few times, when I just hate him with a vengence. They both hurt me a lot. I'm seriously considering the option of losing touch with Joseph after we leave school. I can't stand the thought of knowing him past that point, although the thought of not knowing him is creepy. It would probably be better for me anyway. He wouldn't care either way so it wouldn't bother him.
There goes my last personal post, unless I'm truly in the mood. I'll stick to my live journal, where my posts and feelings wont be criticised and my feelings won't be hurt.
Haunting past
I wish I could forget everything sometimes. My painful memories far outweigh the good ones. Things have been coming back to me tonight, and they hurt so badly. Some things I was sure I was over, but I don't think I am.
I can't believe it's been nearly a year since Keiran died... I want to see him, to hug him, to laugh with him like always... But it'll never happen again. I remember when he died, Joseph was there for me, and I appreciated it more than I ever said. I wish I had told him how much it meant to me, and how much I needed it.
Back when he cared. What am I going to do about Joseph? He always looks at me with the coldest eyes, he always seems like he wants me to be almost anywhere else. Maybe I give him too many bad memories, and I couldn't blame him for that. I feel completely on edge when I'm with him. Maybe it's just me, but he seems to really dislike me. And sometimes it's just that he doesn't seem to care at all. Fuck, that hurts. Even a couple of months ago he was there for me, he was warm and caring, but not now.
I'm so confused... I wish I knew more about how I felt. I can't work it out, and I'm scared. I don't want to go back there...
Is it all worth it? It doesn't really seem like it just now...
I can't believe it's been nearly a year since Keiran died... I want to see him, to hug him, to laugh with him like always... But it'll never happen again. I remember when he died, Joseph was there for me, and I appreciated it more than I ever said. I wish I had told him how much it meant to me, and how much I needed it.
Back when he cared. What am I going to do about Joseph? He always looks at me with the coldest eyes, he always seems like he wants me to be almost anywhere else. Maybe I give him too many bad memories, and I couldn't blame him for that. I feel completely on edge when I'm with him. Maybe it's just me, but he seems to really dislike me. And sometimes it's just that he doesn't seem to care at all. Fuck, that hurts. Even a couple of months ago he was there for me, he was warm and caring, but not now.
I'm so confused... I wish I knew more about how I felt. I can't work it out, and I'm scared. I don't want to go back there...
Is it all worth it? It doesn't really seem like it just now...
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
This is turning out to be a better day than I thought. I have 2 free periods because Mr C Campbell isnt in, which means I also didn't get into trouble for not handing in the essay. I have RMPS next, which is usually good, and I have photography later. I can't wait to develop my film. This time I'm developing my own pictures, not the ones that were taken at the last minute.
Wurstbauer is so weird. How can someone be so nervous all the time? He's perfect for Jamie in a twisted kind of way. Hmmm, should I do Caroline's dare? Should I feel Wurstbauer's ass? Methinks not somehow :P
I can't wait to go up town after school! It's going to be so much fun. And I'll get to show Jack the outfit I want to buy. Yay!!
So, today is shaping up pretty well. So why am I not happy?
Wurstbauer is so weird. How can someone be so nervous all the time? He's perfect for Jamie in a twisted kind of way. Hmmm, should I do Caroline's dare? Should I feel Wurstbauer's ass? Methinks not somehow :P
I can't wait to go up town after school! It's going to be so much fun. And I'll get to show Jack the outfit I want to buy. Yay!!
So, today is shaping up pretty well. So why am I not happy?
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Memories...
Joseph was just talking about a beautiful time he had with Becca, and it reminded me of one the most amazing times of my own life. On the camping trip. It was just me and Jack, sitting on the beach at 2am, looking out to the ocean. Not a cloud in the sky, only the thousands of stars and the moon reflecting on the water. The waves lapping up onto the beach. We didn't say much, there was no need to, but what was said were the most beautiful exclamations of love. More real and pure than I have ever heard. I will never forget it.
I love Jack more than I can imagine ever loving anyone. More than I ever have loved.
I love Jack more than I can imagine ever loving anyone. More than I ever have loved.
A Look Forward
My God, I hate Miss McGhee. Another verbal attack because my mum hasn't phoned. Apparently if she doesn't phone then I'm not allowed to do Children in Need. Bitch. I have to see Mr Rennie today, and he'll probably shout at me for not wearing uniform. Oh, to be in university... It seems perfect just now. I'm kind of glad I'm not there just now though, I would feel too distanced form all my friends.
It's weird to think I'll be there next year though. A lot of my friends will be going to different places, so chances are we'll lose touch. I'm going to work to keep them though, I hate the idea of losing anyone. Most of my friends, including Jack, will still be in school! That's quite a weird thought. There is one thing I'm worried about... It's so easy for a relationship to fail if one person is in uni and the other is still in school. I'll be meeting new people, and have a whole new life, someone in school might seem young or distant. And if I go to Edinburgh, everything will be made so much worse. I suppose it just means we have to put in a really big effort, and to just trust that we can do it.
I'm in Admin right now, and it's boring beyond belief. I generally really enjoy it (so shoot me!) but the task we're doing just now is too dull and complicated for my little brain. And as if this wasn't bad enough, it's a bloody double period. And Joseph is sitting the NAB so I'm all alone!! Well, I'm used to that in Admin since he's never in.
Very grey and depressing outside. The storm from last night seems to have gone though. The trees are surprisingly still. I'm really cold, but I can't put my coat on because of Miss Cafferty's Nazism when it comes to "outdoor clothing". As if shielding yourself from pneumonia is a crime against the school. Sick bastards. If I die I want them to pay....
It's weird to think I'll be there next year though. A lot of my friends will be going to different places, so chances are we'll lose touch. I'm going to work to keep them though, I hate the idea of losing anyone. Most of my friends, including Jack, will still be in school! That's quite a weird thought. There is one thing I'm worried about... It's so easy for a relationship to fail if one person is in uni and the other is still in school. I'll be meeting new people, and have a whole new life, someone in school might seem young or distant. And if I go to Edinburgh, everything will be made so much worse. I suppose it just means we have to put in a really big effort, and to just trust that we can do it.
I'm in Admin right now, and it's boring beyond belief. I generally really enjoy it (so shoot me!) but the task we're doing just now is too dull and complicated for my little brain. And as if this wasn't bad enough, it's a bloody double period. And Joseph is sitting the NAB so I'm all alone!! Well, I'm used to that in Admin since he's never in.
Very grey and depressing outside. The storm from last night seems to have gone though. The trees are surprisingly still. I'm really cold, but I can't put my coat on because of Miss Cafferty's Nazism when it comes to "outdoor clothing". As if shielding yourself from pneumonia is a crime against the school. Sick bastards. If I die I want them to pay....
.....
I'm so unhappy. I'm not as bad as I can get though, that's something to be thankful for. But sometimes everything just seems so wrong, and there's no way out. Sometimes there's no hope...
All my friends are so unhappy, I wish I could help them. And I wish above all I could help Jack, but there's nothing I can do. It hurts so much. But I'll always be there for him, and it's the best I'm capable of.
I wish I was with him just now.
All my friends are so unhappy, I wish I could help them. And I wish above all I could help Jack, but there's nothing I can do. It hurts so much. But I'll always be there for him, and it's the best I'm capable of.
I wish I was with him just now.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Why can't I think of any good titles??
Wow, it's really winter now. I went to the shops and could barely walk back up the road because of the wind. I wish I had some kind of alchohol in, but I can't afford it just now. I also want a cigarette, but I won't let myself have any more. It's really fucking tempting though.
Ugh, I need to get out somewhere soon. I might go to Edinburgh, or go out to a gig or club or something. Anything other than my incessantly dull, monotonous life. I might go to Bannermans in Edinburgh, they looked like they had some good bands on. When I get my bursary, it'll be a lot easier. I'm getting new clothes as well, from Hellfire. I wish I wasn't so scared of needles, otherwise I would get a tattoo. Damnit!
Ugh, I need to get out somewhere soon. I might go to Edinburgh, or go out to a gig or club or something. Anything other than my incessantly dull, monotonous life. I might go to Bannermans in Edinburgh, they looked like they had some good bands on. When I get my bursary, it'll be a lot easier. I'm getting new clothes as well, from Hellfire. I wish I wasn't so scared of needles, otherwise I would get a tattoo. Damnit!
Complete crudophile
I don't really know what my name has to do with this entry, but I'm sure I'll work it in somehow. I've just found out about some journals belonging to my friends, and they're all so well written! I wish I had the energy to spend more time writing things eloquently, maybe add a couple of short stories or poems. It's not like I'm short of ones I've written! Nikita's is especially beautiful. Well, there is a poem I can write here that isn't too personal, but it's terrible beyond belief.
Look not to the future; it holds only pain.
Look not to the past; it hold only the same.
Look not to the present; it holds not the key.
Look to your dreams; boundless and free.
Short, simple, but more true than you can understand without having experienced it. The rest of my poems are too deep and dark to post here, since I generally only write poems about how I'm feeling. Maybe another time, when I'm very depressed, I'll have the guts to share them.
Look not to the future; it holds only pain.
Look not to the past; it hold only the same.
Look not to the present; it holds not the key.
Look to your dreams; boundless and free.
Short, simple, but more true than you can understand without having experienced it. The rest of my poems are too deep and dark to post here, since I generally only write poems about how I'm feeling. Maybe another time, when I'm very depressed, I'll have the guts to share them.
Another day....
Well, isn't my life interesting? This blog would be better if I could write personal things in it. I really should write in my Live Journal or something.
I played Resident Evil ALL day, I think my head is about to explode. It's such an amazing game though.
I visited my nana in the hospital as well. She's so ill.... I can't believe my dad didn't tell me she had lung cancer, especially since he knows how badly it affected me that my grandad didn't tell me how ill Keiran was. My mum's furious with him. I'm glad Kim told me at least, because if she didn't then I might never have found out until she died. It's not growing at the moment, so that's something. But if it starts then the operation will be really dangerous because of her age and her health. I'll worry about that when it comes to the time.
I miss Jack so much... I feel like I haven't seen him in ages, but it was only yesterday. I wish he could go on msn, but he's at his dad's. I can't wait to see him, I want to hug and kiss him. We're so much better for each other than me and Joseph were. Although I still feel sad sometimes about how things turned out with him, it's so much better now. I get on really well with Jack, even before we were going out it felt so right with him. I'm happy about how everything turned out.
My mum's seemed really depressed recently. I wonder what's wrong. She was really drunk last night. She fell in the kitchen, bringing down the table and breaking the cups, she then slipped and fell on a tray, and then fell and got trapped under her bike. She isn't normally like that when she's drunk. It was horrible, and she was crying and her hand was cut and leaving blood everywhere. I helped her and then went back to bed.
Enough of my ramblings, anyone reading this probably died from boredom after the first line anyway.
I played Resident Evil ALL day, I think my head is about to explode. It's such an amazing game though.
I visited my nana in the hospital as well. She's so ill.... I can't believe my dad didn't tell me she had lung cancer, especially since he knows how badly it affected me that my grandad didn't tell me how ill Keiran was. My mum's furious with him. I'm glad Kim told me at least, because if she didn't then I might never have found out until she died. It's not growing at the moment, so that's something. But if it starts then the operation will be really dangerous because of her age and her health. I'll worry about that when it comes to the time.
I miss Jack so much... I feel like I haven't seen him in ages, but it was only yesterday. I wish he could go on msn, but he's at his dad's. I can't wait to see him, I want to hug and kiss him. We're so much better for each other than me and Joseph were. Although I still feel sad sometimes about how things turned out with him, it's so much better now. I get on really well with Jack, even before we were going out it felt so right with him. I'm happy about how everything turned out.
My mum's seemed really depressed recently. I wonder what's wrong. She was really drunk last night. She fell in the kitchen, bringing down the table and breaking the cups, she then slipped and fell on a tray, and then fell and got trapped under her bike. She isn't normally like that when she's drunk. It was horrible, and she was crying and her hand was cut and leaving blood everywhere. I helped her and then went back to bed.
Enough of my ramblings, anyone reading this probably died from boredom after the first line anyway.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Dum de dum
Quite bored just now, but I'm going to my dad's soon, so I'll be playing Resident Evil 4. Yay! I really should be getting ready.... Oh well.
Was at Murray's yesterday for a games tourney. Most of it was fun, although I got really depressed at one point and had to sit away from everyone. And I also got quite bored for some of it. I felt so in love with Jack, I could barely let go of him! I love him so much. It's weird how things turn out.
Why can't I think of anything interesting to write???
Was at Murray's yesterday for a games tourney. Most of it was fun, although I got really depressed at one point and had to sit away from everyone. And I also got quite bored for some of it. I felt so in love with Jack, I could barely let go of him! I love him so much. It's weird how things turn out.
Why can't I think of anything interesting to write???
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Intro
Well, this is all new to me. I don't know what to write! Well, I'm a 17 year old from Glasgow. I'm in 6th year of a terrible high school, one with lots of hideous neds that throw stones at me and call me a freak.... But enough about that!
I have an amazing boyfriend, Jack, who I love so much. I can't imagine life without him. It's weird to think there was a time I wasn't going out with him!
Gah, I'm far too tired to write any more. I'll probably update it when I remember it exists.
Till then, sleep tight.
I have an amazing boyfriend, Jack, who I love so much. I can't imagine life without him. It's weird to think there was a time I wasn't going out with him!
Gah, I'm far too tired to write any more. I'll probably update it when I remember it exists.
Till then, sleep tight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
